Dirty Dancer
by xSlythStratasfaction
Summary: Over summer break, Sam goes home to visit his parents with Kurt and Finn in tow. They decide swing by his sketchy old workplace for old times' sake and Kurt ends up seeing someone he never imagined to find working there. Random, possibly cracky drabble!


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Nor am I associated with _Magic Mike_ or Matt Bomer.

**Dirty Dancer**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

A/N: I don't know if I'm gonna finish this. It was just a drabble that needed to come out. This is inspired by those glorious gifs and pics of _Matt Bomer_ from _Magic Mike_.

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The old strip joint that Sam used to work at wasn't something Kurt Hummel ever expected he'd lay foot in.

However, here he was, walking slowly behind Sam and Finn as the guys led the way through the pack of loud, horny women, some of them waving dollar bills in the air as they catcalled and screamed. Sam just laughed when a few 'regulars' spotted him and called out, yelling that they missed his sexy abs and buff arms. A few women tried to stuff wads of cash in the waistband of Sam's pants, but he politely declined and stepped aside, explaining that he no longer worked there and could not take their money.

Kurt definitely noticed the way their faces fell at the admission – it seemed like Sam Evans, the stripper, was hot shit down here in Tennessee.

"Hey, let's go see Billy Bob. He'll be glad to see me," Sam hollered over the booming music, waving his arm in the direction of the bar. Kurt and Finn followed hesitantly; Finn's eyes scanning the room for rogue women wielding dollar bills as they swam through the crowd.

"Well if it isn't Sammy boy!" A large, bald man shouted from behind the bar. He sat a full bottle of vodka down on the counter and stepped from behind the counter, wrapping up Sam in his burly arms. Sam offered a greeting of his own and the two men slid into conversation; meanwhile, Kurt and Finn hovered in the background.

While Sam talked to his old friend, the announcer came on, his voice booming over the shouts of the excited female audience, "Who out there's been a bad girl this evening?" Screams erupted through the crowd and Kurt cringed, slowly bringing his fingers up to plug his ears. These women were louder than a million screeching Rachel Berrys. He plugged his ears a little tighter.

"Well then, you know what we do to bad girls!" The veejay announced, causing a riot within the crowd. The music grew louder as the red curtains onstage parted and a uniformed police officer came onstage, hat tipped low and hips swaying. The handcuffs around his belt loops swung like tassles as he ground his hips to the beat of the song.

Instantly, Kurt was entranced - _oh how far away was he from his baby penguin days_.

He watched on as the man rolled his body and thrust his hips into the air, his lips opening in mock pleasure as his tongue darted out to moisten them. "Oh my God," Kurt breathed, immediately aroused, yet somewhat guilty that he was getting turned on by this unknown dancer while his poor boyfriend was stuck at a stuffy business party back in Ohio.

"Dude, you aren't getting off on this, are you?" Finn asked in horror, stepping away from his stepbrother when he noticed Kurt's lips purse together. Kurt rolled his eyes and stepped away from his group, making his way closer to the stage. _He could watch, right?_ It wasn't like he was going to do anything. He didn't bring any singles with him and he definitely wasn't brave enough to stuff any money in a man's underwear anyway. Taking in a deep breath, he stopped near the front of the stage and watched as the dancer tore off his entire uniform with one swift tug, showing off his muscular physique and perfect ass. "Holy shit," was all Kurt could mutter as he took in the sight before him.

The woman next to him wailed in excitement when the stripper came over to their side of the stage. She stuffed a wad of bills in the dancer's thong and Kurt swallowed thickly when he noticed the bulge that was barely being restrained by the thin fabric. The dancer smiled, hat still tugged low as he whirled his hips forward in Kurt's direction. "Like what you see?" He purred at the group before him. The women yelled and Kurt blushed, crossing his arms over his chest. He darted his eyes to the floor and looked away until the man went to the other side of the stage.

"God, he's so hot," one of the women beside him panted, fanning herself with her hands. Kurt raised a brow at this, somewhat in agreement with her but still confused over how people thought the male entertainer was so hot when the guy still hadn't shed his face-shielding hat.

"Yeah, he's alright," Kurt said, eyes falling back on the dancer as the man pulled a woman onstage and began grinding all over her. As he danced, the man reached up and slowly tugged off his hat, gently placing it on his female companion's head. Kurt could barely make out the full head of dark hair from where he stood, but as soon as the man turned around, his mouth fell open in shock.

_Oh my God_.

He knew that face - that incredible jawline and those piercing blue eyes were things that he saw frequently pasted up on the walls of the Anderson home, smiling brightly right next to the face of his boyfriend. He knew immediately who this dancer was and the second the two of them locked eyes, he knew the dancer recognized him as well.

It was Cooper Anderson, Blaine's big brother…

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A/N: I wrote this a few weeks ago after I saw an unrated promo for Magic Mike on Tumblr. I posted this on there and I don't think anyone saw it, lol, so I thought I'd post it on here just in case some of you don't use Tumblr (I tweaked it a bit too.) So, here you go. I probably won't finish this, it's just a silly drabble that got stuck in my head after I saw that lovely promo. BTW, I saw the actual movie the other day. I was a little disappointed - there was soooo much plot! Not like that's a bad thing, but I think that for a movie about male strippers, I would've preferred more, uh, _stripping._ But that's just me! :)


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